How Modern Dating Works With The Internet
By Susan Lester
Some of this reality will sound harsh. The new world of dating is not the "Leave It To Beaver" white picket fence Hollywood-romance that some may have been led to believe. You need to know these facts, though. Being aware will keep you emotionally and physically prepared.
You will find that the majority of profiles on big dating sites are fake
profiles, Russian bots, scammers or automated response algorithms that the
dating site has placed there. Until you meet them in person, you can't
believe anything until you see it with your own eyes.
Anybody you meet on the internet should share 50% of the first meeting costs because of the unusually high number of scammers and gold-diggers on the internet. Men do pay for the first date in small country towns where you met at the barn dance but on the internet, it is totally different. Most people dating on the internet have a different date every night and they are "playing the odds". Many of them are just seeking free food and riding a low-self-esteem roller coaster of sexual conquest. There are ALSO wonderful people who are sincerely looking for marriage but the internet provides the most sex and free food so there are people who have embraced that reality too.
All physical interaction requires a verbal "yes". With all of the lawsuits and sexual extortion scams these days, it is essential to document a very clear verbal consent for all sexual activity. There are a large number of people who are seeking to blackmail people with paternity lawsuits or non-consent sex lawsuits in order to get money from them.
Match,com, OKCupid, and the other corporate dating sites, sell and/or have your data leaked, to political parties and marketing companies. You should know that everything you post or text on those sites is read by others and may be used against you. Use fake names, burner email addresses and information that is slightly different than your true information when you use those services. Move all communications to your personal email that you control, as soon as possible, to avoid leaving your private love life data on Match.com servers. Do you really want Match.com's management (Which includes Chelsea Clinton and the investors in big porn sites) reading your romantic emails?
A 'date' is a meeting to see if there is sexual chemistry. Many people are irked by the use of the term "date" but the reality is that dating is sexual compatibility testing.
There is a whole industry in the dating world called: "Honey Traps". If you have been on TV or in the news and if you have business competitors or political enemies, Honey Traps will be hired. These Honey Traps are people who pretend to be looking for love but they are actually sent to conduct industrial spying and political sabotage against you. If you appear to be successful, watch out for Honey Traps.
Big cities like San Francisco, Los Angeles, New York have a huge number of "transaction-relationship" seekers. Because Craigslist and BackPage have had their sex ads shut down, all of the mistresses, hookers, rent boys and gold-diggers have moved to match.com, OKCupid and the corporate dating sites. Because of this, you now either need to 1.) put "NO transactional relationships" in your ad text or 2.) put the 'code words' in your ad if you do want that.
Anybody who uses a 'smartphone', on a date for phone calls or social media, is considered to be hyper-rude, privacy-violating and not aware of data hacking issues. Keep your phone in a wireless RFID blocking bag at the bar, coffee shop or restaurant on your first date. Nobody wants a 'social media zombie' with them on a date.
Never use a webcam for online dating. Once the camera has been used, even once, it notifies hackers around the globe and they will hack into it to watch you taking showers and sleeping. Webcams can be remotely activated by hackers and you can't tell that the camera is even turned on.
You probably don't know if you have bad breath. Get a regular tooth cleaning at your dentist every 6 months and take MintAssure breath tablets (Available on Amazon) 15 minutes before each date.
The bigger-the-dating-site/the more it's owner's abuse your rights. All
dating sites read and archive your texts, emails and activities and sell
that data to political groups, government agencies and marketing
companies. Treat your dating data just like you would your medical
Everybody that is on a dating site is dating multiple people at once. Do not be naive. If you want to be committed and monogamous with a person just tell them so out-loud. If you do not both agree to that arrangement VERBALLY, it will never happen. Men and women always assume different things about the status of a relationship. Most dating issues are about what stage each other person thought the dating phase was in. Men and women really, really do have different ways of thinking, different perceptions of things and different time-frames. Ie: Men are territorial and war-like. If a woman tells her men friends about a new date, then those men friends will try to jack up her relationship with the new guy because their subconscious minds want them to defend their turf.
If you have unprotected sex you will most likely have a pregnancy or get an STD. For each new partner you must get a blood and urine test for: HIV/AIDS, Herpes, Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Syphilis, Mycoplasma Genitalium, Trichomoniasis, Human Papilloma Virus/HPV, Crabs/Pubic Lice, Scabies, Hepatitis/HBV, Chancroid, Bacterial Vaginosis/BV, Nongonoccocal Urethritis (NGU), Molluscum Contagiosum, MRSA, and Lymphogranuloma Venereum. Take this list to any Quest Diagnostics Test Center or Public Health Center and ask for the "Full STD Palette Test" or just show them the list and ask for the test that covers those items. At the very least, pick up the off-the-shelf OraQuick test at your local drugstore and take that saliva test. These tests take only a few minutes and provides a lifetime of health security.
Sound rough? It is, but if you follow these simple tips the cream will rise to the top and you will eventually meet a great partner.
Everyone finds what they are looking for within 3 months but you must have endurance. If you have lived a sheltered life, avoided reading the news and only hung out with a handful of middle-of-the-road friends you might be in for a shock when you jump into the real world.
That world is different that the one you see depicted in old TV shows.
Be ready, have an open mind and forget about the Hollywood hype and you will have a great time!
In a recent internet poll about modern dating tips, these are some of the responses: