Scientists Offer To Name New Venereal Disease After Elon Musk
(Parody)
Stanford, California – Do you want a case of Elonus Muskisqueege?
A new venereal disease could be named after the notorious self-glorifying, often divorcing, Elon Musk, if research scientists prevail in their naming rights application.
The genital affliction results in swelling of the head..of the male member. The bulbous seminal end-point becomes numb to all outside input and turns inward as it seems to bend in on it’s own stalk.
Overall numbness soon afflicts the brain of the hapless subject and infantile narcissism is certain to follow. This, so far, untreated-able disease has affected those previously inflicted with affluenza and Hollywood movie starlet disease.
Said one desperate victim: “Ohhhh, me balls are itchy and I never get to go to Weinstein parties any more. It is as if the world has ended for me…”
The rash from the infected area soon reaches the neck and, as inspired by the actual Elon Musk, victims must wear a black turtleneck shirt to hide the horrendous markings and to attempt to effect a 1970’s Austin Powers-like facade of twattish pretend coolness.
Hillary Clinton’s house husband: Huma Abdjerjianianian, was discovered to have had her actual husband, a guy named, ironically: Weiner; suddenly struck with fears that he might have it. What was once thought to have been his attempt at frightening young girls with “Dick Pix” turns out to have been him Tweeting his member to people he thought were nurses asking if “he had it?”
This desperate disease seems to be running the gamut of the Hollywood/Washington DC wanna-be crowd like a herd of rabid chihuahuas at a Spam delivery truck accident.
While Elon Musk seems to be laying low these days, his horrific namesake is ravaging the rich and stupid like a tsunami of penile hell.
